Red Tights

It’s the first day of kindergarten 32 years ago and the dress was just waiting to be put on. Her mom had even bought red tights to go with the plaid pattern on the dress and little red bows to tie in her hair and black patent leather shoes. The excitement for this little girl was unbearable.

The walk to the bus stop was long. Nothing like today. At least a quarter of a mile, but it was in good company. The kids in the neighborhood all walked down the road together. It was actually one of the best parts. That group grew up together while walking up and down that road.

It was a beautiful day and the anticipation rose as she watched the bus pull down and come to a stop. Normally, she stood there and watched everyone else get on. But, today she would cross that road and ride that bus like everyone else. She wanted to be first. She turned and said goodbye to her mom and took off running.

Those patent leather shoes were beautiful, but a feeling of dread washed over her as she felt herself start to slip on the stones in the road. She tried to catch herself, but she just couldn’t and braced herself for the fall. Landing on her knees, she felt the pain immediately and began to cry. Her mom rushed out to pick her up, but the minute she looked down she knew. Her red tights. Both knees were ripped open and exposed the skin beneath.

I was mortified. Yup. 32 years and this memory is still one I can’t forget. How could I possibly go to school my first day like this? My first day of kindergarten ruined.

Can you take a moment and identify that one memory that is burned into your brain from growing up? I was recently talking with some teachers and we were sharing stories that created a lasting impact. This one came right to mind for me. Along with a few others.

Wes recalls a vivid memory of walking back to his kindergarten classroom with the wrong milk and getting “screamed” at by the teacher.

Julia recalls painting a beach scene in her kindergarten classroom and painted blue sky within the tan “sand” line. The teacher yelled at her in front of the other kids and Julia felt embarrassed and ashamed.

Sarah’s memory is one where she inadvertently knocked over a bookshelf in front of her entire classroom and got yelled at by the teacher. Then if that wasn’t bad enough, she was humiliated as she cried in front of her classmates.

Julie shared a story about being in 3rd grade and math being somewhat of a challenge. One day she decided to take a risk, as an 8 year old, and it went horribly wrong. The teacher said something that caused the whole class to laugh because her answer was wrong. So she never volunteered again.

Mandy recalls being placed by the “blackboard” and the teacher announced it was because she talked too much.

Lindsay shared a story about her sister who missed her bus. Lindsay was a first grader who got off the bus and walked up to an empty house. Terrified.

Sharing these stories as adults is somewhat humorous as we consider the person we now know and imagine what they were like as a child. It’s also sad that often as adults we remember the times we were humiliated, embarrassed or singled out. Don’t get me wrong. I heard lots of stories like this too:

Andrea remembers a specific teacher who asked students to write steps to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The next day the teacher read through each set of directions and “made” the sandwiches. Andrea recalls the teacher being silly and just lots of fun in that moment.

Jess remembers a specific event in her classroom in which the teacher created an independent reading olympics program where you could earn points. That teacher motivated her to complete those tasks and surprise her parents as she was given a “gold” medal at the closing ceremonies.

Kathleen remembers stalking her 3rd grade teacher with a friend. They found out where she lived and knocked on the front door. That teacher invited them in and they had milk and cookies.

Abbie recalls sharing a story in 1st grade. While she was reading that story her teacher placed her arm around her shoulders.

As I listened to these stories I had to take a step back and wonder what makes us remembers these specific events years later as we grow up? Those red tights were probably insignificant to anyone else who saw that they were torn that day. It was no big deal. Little did they know that while insignificant to them, it was everything to that little girl. But someone noticed that day. This memory ends that afternoon as that little girl boards the bus and her driver hands her a new pair of red tights for the next day.

Yup. My bus driver. I’ll never forget that moment. As I think back to that moment I’m sure as a child I beamed, thanked her and went about my day. She had no idea that moment, that 30 minutes she went out of her way because she stopped to consider what those tights meant to me, would be etched in my memory for a lifetime.

You’ll never know what interaction will leave that etch on a child, but we need to take time to be aware of how each interaction, big or small, will create a lasting memory. We certainly aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes along the way, but I know I want to be the teacher that Abbie, Andrea, Jess and Kathleen remember. The one who takes time to establish a relationship and recognizes the importance of the “red tights.”

The bows aren’t red, but my memory may have faded a bit!