You’re right, You can’t.

You’re right, you can’t….that one line today sent my mind into motion and infuriated me.

Growing up, I was not an athletic kid. In fact, I tried every sport there was and always ended up being that kid picking flowers on the field, messing up the cheers and always dropping the pass. As the only one of 5 siblings who didn’t play sports, it was hard. Something changed after my second child though (better late than never). At 24, I decided I wanted to shed myself of that “chunky” persona and set out to find a healthier lifestyle. One I’ve been able to maintain for the last 13 years. But I’m a yo-yo runner.

I was NEVER a runner. Hated it with a passion. I was always the kid in gym class who “got sick” during the mile run so I didn’t have to finish last. It was mortifying and something I remember each time I head out. At one point I was running 6 miles in about an hour. But I always take a hiatus and then it frustrates me when I have to start back over.

I had gotten to a point where I was still walking 3 miles several times a week in about 42 minutes and just allowed that to be enough. The treadmill sometimes motivated me to run a bit and I am somewhat obsessed with making sure my Apple Watch rings are closed everyday.

July was rough. There are no excuses. It was summer and even though I was working, I had plenty of time to exercise.

Recently, a teacher shared with me that she had a bet with her husband that she would run a 5k in one year. That year ends for her at the end of October and I took that as an opportunity to motivate myself. We found a 5k in October and signed up. I openly shared that I signed up to stay committed and found a team of teachers to join us. We even differentiated our groups…some will walk, some will walk/run and many will run the whole thing.

What a difference that conversation made for me. I’ve set a goal to work in a 3 mile workout at least 4 times a week and close my rings everyday in September.

Today my husband and I went out together. I hate running with him. He’s always been fit and even though he’s 10 years older than me, he is faster and has no problems running 3 miles even after a hiatus. So annoying. Today he really made me mad, but also motivated me at the same time. We set a goal to run the first mile and we did it in 9 min 40 sec. Not great, but not bad at all. We walked about a half mile and he said “let’s go.” (Meaning run some more.) I just wasn’t feeling it and immediately said, “no, I can’t.” His response, intentional I’m sure, made me so mad. Normally he’s super motivating and pushing me, but today he wasn’t having it and he said, “you’re right, you can’t.”

I couldn’t believe it. Even though I think I hate how he pushes me, the moment he didn’t, I got mad. I subconsciously look to him for that extra push and when he didn’t give it I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t run the whole thing, but we finished in about 34 minutes. Each time I go out my time gets better and better. The thought of running all 3 miles is daunting right now, but I know I can get there and I’m thrilled to have a team to do it with.

As educators, we are often overwhelmed and just tired on a daily basis because of all that is required. It’s not often that we can turn work “off.” I tend to be that person who wants everyone to be positive all the time and never complain, but the reality is that sometimes complaining helps. I found today that what I need is someone to affirm my complaint:

“Yes, it’s hot and you are tired.

I needed my husband to tell me that my complaint was warranted, but then push me with:

But, you can do this. Let’s go.”

What would that sound like for a teacher? Or an administrator?

“Yes, entering that data is going to take forever. But, let’s get it done so that we can determine what our kids need.”

“Yes, that child requires a lot of extra time and support. What can I do to help you?”

“You’re right, there is never enough time. Let’s prioritize and do what we can.”

Sometimes our cheerleaders get tired though. Every run we do together, I complain and today he had enough. I realized that it’s truly mental and something I have just always done because I knew he would push me, but at some point I have to push myself. At some point I have to realize that my complaining is annoying and weighing him down. He can’t always carry us both and if I don’t shed that negativity while I run (at least occasionally) I’ll never reach my goal on my own.

Let’s complain about the things we don’t like about our profession and then move on. Don’t dwell like I have been doing. There’s so much I like about running, the goal setting, how I feel AFTER I run, the exercise, and the idea that it keeps me physically fit. The one thing I don’t like about running is actually doing it. Complaining about that just makes it that much harder for me. This makes me think of the mundane tasks we have to do sometimes as educators. For example, assessing kids takes a long time and can be laborious at times, but the information that can be gleaned from those assessments can help us and our students feel accomplished in the long run as we monitor progress and set goals.

It’s sometimes the most difficult, but helpful tasks that make our jobs hard on a daily basis. I will take the time to remember that next time I head out for a run and think “I can’t” continue. Complaining is normal and sometimes even helps us feel better, but only when it’s short term. It’s when we let it continue that it stifles our growth and brings others down around us.

Next time I hear “let’s go” and I’m not quite ready, I will work on a response like “give me a minute” or “I’ll be ready in a minute.”

That simple response changes my mentality from I can’t to I can, but not quite yet.