I haven’t written in a year and a half. My last blog post was immediately after the passing of my dad. I haven’t found it in me to write since then. I’ve struggled with his passing more than anything my entire life.
As of this very moment, I sit in the car on the way to walk the stage at the graduation I so desperately wanted him to witness. I find myself nervous because I know that this day will invoke a lot of emotions. While I’ll never find “closure,” I hope that this day gives me the strength I need to fully grieve.
This last year and a half has been one of the most challenging ever, personally and professionally. I lost a part of myself and while I feel present, I know I haven’t been able to give my full self in any capacity. Not to my husband, not to my kids, not to my colleagues, students or families.
Per COVID guidelines, I was allowed two tickets today. I wanted my kids to be able to witness me walk that stage and see a source of strength, perseverance, and courage. Something I hope I have demonstrated to them. Unfortunately, they couldn’t attend unsupervised. They will watch the livestream and my husband will be there for me as he always has been. Next to him will be an empty chair, physically empty, but I can’t help and think it’s for a purpose.
Today that empty chair is empty to everyone but me. I see you, Dad. ❤️
Mrs. Shannon Myers 